Original Poetry

Reprieve

Raindrops fall from the rooftop

into the open arms of the grass

seeping into the heat of the earth

drenching it with coolness.

And each passing wind

carries a whisper of promise

that something will be better

after the sky’s grieving.

A breaking of my soul upon

the twilight of my darkest hour

and the mild shadow of yourself

enters my dream and i wonder…

are you the promise that comes

after the crying of heaven?

reprieve

Originally uploaded by haydnseek

2 thoughts on “Reprieve”

  1. Much appreciated critique. 🙂

    I am a self-centered brat thus the overuse of “my” “I” and “me”. hahaha.

    Thanks for dropping by. I enjoyed reading your page too and will read some more as soon as the much needed weekend comes. 🙂

  2. I read several of you poems and I like this one the best. It’s simple, about a common scene in nature, yet it paints a vivid picture in my mind. Every line is equally expressed without you being trite or insincere. My only critique is the overuse of the word “my” towards the end of your work.

    A breaking of my soul upon
    the twilight of my darkest hour
    enters my dream and i wonder…

    Great work and I look forward to more

    Dan

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