The office is very sleepy tonight. Perhaps it’s because the entire sales team (2 people) are out tonight and we lost one editor, there’s barely anyone in the office. 7 not so warm bodies in an office with 19 desks equals one very slow day.
H: oh yeah
i’m so tamad na talaga to go to work
Me: parang slow day dahil wala gaano tao
H: and it’s starting to feel not worth it na
On a slow day, it’s not something you want to hear from a colleague. Stop! Do not pull me in to the blackhole of not liking work... What makes this harder is that everyone has one leg in that blackhole, one just needs a little push to succumb. Bless my stubbborness, I often argue for just the sake of argument.
Me: there’s still the sweldo
H: in your case.. mejo ok pa
sakin parang hindi na
H: i need to love myself
and my kids
they need to be with me more
and i need to be a nicer person to my family and working makes me a monster at home
Me: you need to learn to adjust with work
there’s away to work this…
there’s like a million working moms
they can’t all be doing something wrong
my mom worked and she had time for us
H: but she didn’t become like a monster like me
i’m a monster na daw
coz i’m huge and i don’t have much patience
Me: she did a couple of times din naman
pero she had to do it to send us to school and buy us great things
not 100% happy mom
around 75% happy mom
which was good enough
saka di ba? you are doing this for yourself?
H: after a few hours of work and you lose your perspective on why you want to work… parang ang hirap to always remind myself of my reasons for actually doing this
Pretty good for a devil’s advocate, heh? Too bad I don’t feel what I’ve been preaching. Tomorrow is another struggle.