i imagine it to be worse than being stabbed,
the scars deeper than the physical ones,
incurable by man’s science —
and not even sleep could give reprieve.

i wish i could have just been cut,
then morphine could make me feel less
and only my body would need to heal —
everything else painless as i dream.

i will myself to stop breaking.
courage has always been greater and bigger than me,
but how can i stop the falling tears —
when my whole heart shatters as i breathe.