I am absolutely miserable. No one would probably know how much but me.
Perhaps it wasn’t really a surprise, I was already taking steps for it not to happen but maybe I wasn’t fast enough or urgent enough or sensitive enough. Now that it’s done, there might not even be any benefit of trying to figure out what could have been.
At my core, I am shattered and broken to pieces, to shreds, to tiny grains and specks. Most of the time I keep it together, I smile and laugh and am courageously moving forward.
Yet the night haunts me, it is mostly when I am nearest that I feel most alone.