Dearest Jesus,

I have often asked how life can be so unfair. How could years of my life go to waste and my whole future go from super bright to super bleak? I never really understood your plans and had cried a million times, I was already drowning in my tears. It took me quite some time to realize the grand scheme of things.

You had taken away something from me to give me 10 times of what I had. You had given me pain so that i would realize the importance of the love around me. You took away something false so i could learn to distinguish the things that are real. I was wrong to feel neglected because i never was. Thank you for surrounding me with the most special gifts. Thank you for the shower of your love that is reflected from the warmth of the people in my life. Thank you for another year behind me and another year ahead.

Lord, thank you for my life.

In the glory of your name,
the most blessed girl celebrating her birthday today

I love having tons of pillows and stuffed stuff on my bed…the more clutter, the better! The less space to sleep in, the better! While others have blankies from their baby days or fishnets wrapped around their legs, I had my poohglet! Poohglet is my pet name for a pink bolster pillow with a piglet design. It’s my favoritest pillow in the whole wide wolrd. I used to bring it to my apartment on weekdays and bring it back home on weekends and had sleepless nights missing it. Sleeping is not as good without my poohglet beside me.

A few minutes ago while trying to find more bathroom tissue (you see, i eat bathroom tissue…or at least that’s what my mom claims…hehe!), i was rummaging through the utility closet and you would not believe it but poohglet was in the utility closet. He was warpped in some clear plastic bag and poohglet was all tattered and torn. Out of i-dont-know-what-feeling, I took it out and gave it a hug (Sigh!)…It still reminded me of the feeling of being safe but no longer was it comfortable…no longer was it as pink as it was, it was now flat and the seams were open, cotton was showing up on the sides and yeech! it was dirty! (cotton is supposed to be white, right?). I put it back into the closet with a lingering question in my mind…how long has it been in the closet? how long has it been out of my bed?

Funny…but i simply could not remember when my mom took my poohglet to put away. And to think I always claimed, i could not bear proper sleep without it and cried my heart out when i left it at home… Isn’t it a crazy life? We outgrow things in our life everyday…most of the time, without us even realizing we already did. Things change. I change. And though, we’re a little bit sad to see our pasts in storage closets…we realize some things are just never meant to last, they’ve done their part & have given us gorgeous, comforatble nights (sounds dirty, huh?) and you know if u keep them near you know, the only thing they could give you is an asthma attack! haha!…

What a relief this whole experience is for me…you see,if i can sleep without poohglet then there is nothing that i cannot learn to live without (weeeeeeeeee! so optimistic!!!!). And i take a look at my bed now, i notice the difference and I see what’s missing but i shrug, sleep in my bed these days has never been better!!!


these are the people who have seen me through my worst days…
they were simply there when i felt my whole world was crumbling down.
they stand by me everytime i have pathetic days (which is quite a lot…)
they know me too well that i don’t have to say anything
yet they already understand
they can tell me i’m stupid straight out to my face
and i’d believe them…and would only be grateful…(hahaha!)
but no one else should dare to call me stupid
or they’ll wage war against him/her
one of the many blessings in my life…
my orgmates,
my drinking buddies,
my dancing partners,
my bashing group,
my life-long friends,
my chongs.

Pre-bday blues have been looming over my demented head since the start of this month…(for all my friends, lam nyo na kung bakit…) So I decided to count reasons why i should enjoy my bday and why I should be grateful for my bday this year…after endless thinking (which lasted 2 mins!), i ended up with 2 words: family and friends! Who cares if i don’t have a boyfriend this year!!!!?!!!!(Waaaaaaaaaa. I do pero sige kunwari hindi….), I have great friends.

I really feel so blessed this month cause of the people who have been there for me. I have the greatest friends from work (yiheee! special mention na naman sila!) and the bestest friends from college!!!

**i just spent the half-hour reading through my ym archives and emails, natatawa me mag-isa sa mga post natin….grabe! iba talaga kau!!!

Yesterday i was two things…one was very sleepy and the other was really embarrassed. i blame being sleepy on work (and excessive gimik) and i blame the embarrassed part on the lack of sleep. Although, someone had said i was just plain dumb. 😀

I went to mass in Bene at around 11. When the mass ended, my sister asked me to go return the mass pamphlet with her. While waiting for her at the door, I bumped into a highschool batchmate (at least i think he’s a highschool batchmate). He said said our hellos and how are yous. It wasn’t bad except that I wasn’t sure of his name. Waaaaaaaaaa! I couldn’t get on with a nice conversation coz i was trying to figure out who he is. When my sister got back, the only introduction I could give was “hey…umm..sister ko nga pala”. Another waaaaaaaaa! I could hear my friends laughing and saying that it’s so typical of me to forget.  When I got home I thought about getting the yearbook but being so sleepy, I opted to crawl into bed. But even after getting enough sleep, I still woke up embarrassed, nakakahiya talaga! So sorry talaga. I’m normally better on most days.

Second stupid thing (or maybe first thing because this happened before the one above) I did: When I got home, I was surprised to have so much food at home. My mom cooked a feast but being tired and in a hurry coz I need to go to mass with them, I didn’t have time to think about it. After mass, my mom asked me to get some take-out chicken and she bought gallons of ice cream. As I was preparing the table for lunch, I said “bakit ba ang daming food mong niluto?”.  My dad said, “ano ka ba? bday nya kasi!”. Oh noooo!!!! It was my mom’s bday! Shucks! I wanted to melt! I gave mommy a hug and a sorry kiss…

…again, I’m normally better on most days. =(

let me start by saying i am not materialistic (perhaps just a little bit =P). i just remembered that dj made a wish list on his bday and i wanted to make gaya. hahaha!

here is my wish list (…in no particular order…):

1) roses – because i haven’t received a single rose for almost two whole years!!! mind u, i’ve only been without a boyfriend for a year…i’m really sulking right now cause i feel so deprived so if u love me, you will give me a rose.

2) pillows – when you sleep days, your room and your bed should be extra nice to make up for the fact that there is sunlight streaming down your windows when you’re getting a shuteye. i’m filling my bed with tons of pillows & stuffed toys & comfy sheets…

3) stuffed toys – same reason as the pillows….

4) maroon 5 – i had wanted this last xmas or was it my last bday… the person who promised it obviously forgot!

5) new speakers for my pc – i just want one…

6) bean chair – again because i just want one….

7) a vacation – self-explanatory!!!!! everyone wants one, right? whoever disagrees, i will kick him/her!

8) someone really special – may he realize that i was always waiting for him. hahaha! (Intriga ito!)

9) a fling – for the meantime…while he still doesn’t realize i am waiting for him…

10) salary increase – read the comment in number 7…and add the fact that whoever says he doesn’t want one is a real hypocrite and could hang himself….

11) personal driver – do i have any friend who loves me enough to be one?

12) inner smile – that’s how taty calls it, right? if you’re my friend, you understand this. i don’t need to explain.

13) lots of love for everyone i love!!!!

14) and of course, one big birthday bash!!!

take your pick!!! i am really, really expecting to get half of them…hehehe. =P

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