It’s rare that I get to have meaningful conversations that do not involve work when at the office but today, I was lucky enough to have some downtime with very interesting people.
A friend shared with us that he had prayed to God to give him a sign if being gay is really a sin. We asked how he would feel if it is. And this is where we hit an impasse. I can barely imagine how hard it must be to think and worry every day that being true to yourself is also the same reason that can separate you from God.
The earlier conversation will probably stay with me as I find my own faith. You see, while I have always strongly believed in God and prayer, I have always been more a social reformist than a religious practitioner. The battle inside myself is about reconciling the loving God that wants the best for his children and the laws of his church. Faith, they say, is a strong belief in God or in the doctrines of a religion, based on spiritual apprehension rather than proof. My faith believes in a God that has no prejudice and one that allowed things to happen because he has a grand plan for everything.
I shared what I had seen on TV last night about a church that was run and made up of LGBT folks. Amongst the stories was about a gay who wanted to become a priest but couldn’t because the whole neighbourhood knew that he was gay since childhood, he was depressed until someone told him about the church. There was also an interview with one of their priests who highlighted the dilemma that as the Catholic Church continues to not accept LGBTs, this would lead to more and more LGBTs losing their faith.
Thanks to Google, the Church is Metropolitan Community Church Philippines. On their website, it said “…is a church where Gays, Lesbians, Bisexuals, and Transgenders are accepted and loved. This is the church where you can be who and what you are without pretending to be who you are not just to please people. God is already pleased with those who accepted Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior….” I believe God works in mysterious ways perhaps, I was meant to share what I had watched at the same moment that a friend is asking for a sign.
Perhaps, you’re on your own spiritual journey and what I shared here might help you.
Perhaps, one day, we will all find enlightenment.
Lord, give me strength
to meet another day,
to fight for a difference,
to make a lasting change.
I am too tired to fight it,
too drained to even try.
In the confines of my darkness,
it gets colder as i scorch.
Bittersweet and as painful.
I feel better as I feel worse.
I long for comfort that cannot come
so I simply descend to slumber.
Let me sleep so I can be awakened
…and tomorrow let it be forgotten.
Due to the weather not working well with my immune system, I spent the day at home and chanced upon seeing the live broadcast of SONA. I wasn’t really planning on seeing it and was actually asleep on the couch nursing body malaise but for some reason, I woke up as the coverage was starting.
Because I am your typical net addict, I was on fb and twitter while watching Pnoy give his speech. Now, there were those who did great public service like @Karen_DaviLa who provided real-time updates (woot! woot!) and then there are those who complained about every sentence that came out of the President’s mouth.
It makes me think of how much change can come out of all the yapping and complaining. Will all your criticism build roads? Feed the hungry? Educate our children? Make a better future? I wonder how much the effigy contributed to our economic growth? How did the rally and the chaos improve your life status? How much of the budget will have to go to fixing ruined public property? I say, the call is for vigilance and not pessimism. Don’t confuse the two!
You absolutely have the right to complain but as you do, can you think of what you have contributed to our country ? Have you volunteered for a worthwhile cause? Not cheat on your taxes? Followed traffic rules? Reported law violators? Recycled? Opened your mind for possibilities? Here’s a thought: The Philippines is not just Noynoy Aquino, it’s made up of Filipinos — all 101M of us.
Mind you, it’s a long way to go and the government has not earned my praise yet but I know my responsibility and I accept it. My country needs me to change with it and I shall.
So to you — Don’t just be a Filipino. Be an active Filipino!
Good morning world!
Today I will try again
to conquer you
or at least to avoid you
from conquering me.