I have been angry and hurt for 2 days now. I’ve had conversations and conversations where I let all my feelings and angst go but it was never better, it just frustrated me more.
Being me, I played every possible scenario in my head from vengeful to apathetic to even being apologetic. I went through each memory, through each conversation, seeing it from emotional to objective, from my perspective, their perspective, 3rd parties’ perspective. Nothing seems to fit it right!!! But if EQ training taught me one thing , it’s about sleeping on it and letting ideas hatch.
While I was letting the ideas come to me, today’s experience (which was such a great and happy one) lead me to reflect on when times in my life I was happiest. That lead me to think of what my emotions are when I’m happiest. That lead me to some answers.
I am happiest in stillness.
It can happen in a room full of people
or in a room with no one.
It can happen with people who genuinely love me
and with those who hate me with such force.
I am happiest when I am not angry,
when I do not hate,
when I understand,
when I forgive,
when I let go,
when I decide to love.
My whole life, my weakness was always my temper. I can be quick to anger but it was always a contradiction that I can also quickly admit my mistake and had never got to change why I forgive easily (even when I kept on saying I will not be friends be a person anymore). I realized that when I forgive and forget (or even just try to forgive), I heal myself in the process.
People will think differently. They will doubt — some will force their opinions, others will talk. They will put names — foul, hypocrite, evil. People will get angrier because they expect conflict and it will not be there. I will say my prayer and another.
Days are short, love is wonderful — and it’s our choice if our life will be great!
Awesome Sunday everyone! ❤ ❤
A superhero wannabe. Frustrated poet. Erratic Perfectionist.
Selective Techie. Closet Geek. Secret Conyo.
Daughter. Sister. Friend. Wife. Mom.
For some reason, Lance had decided to activate a no-haircut policy until our pre-nupt in May. While I didn’t openly oppose the idea, I really, really hated it vehemently. So I schemed to have him agree to a haircut without him feeling I demanded it.
Step 1: Take lots of pictures like the ones below. 🙂 Eventually, he hated what he was seeing.
Step 2: When he asks if I think he should also have a haircut, say yes but be very nonchalant about it. Like you don’t really care…
Step 3: Hint that I need a trim today!… and insist that he accompany me.
Step 4: Hook, Line, and Sinker.
Now comes the hard part, I read somewhere that finding a good stylist is like finding the perfect mate — almost impossible! So today, I decided to try Azta Salon in Eastwood.
It’s my 3rd try in this salon but the first time that they were able to accommodate me. As I was writing this blog, I remembered that you were not supposed to cut your hair from the Chinese new year until 15 days after. And that might be the reason why no one was in the salon in the first place! (Anyone knows feng shui that could reverse bad fortune from cutting hair?)
The cut was pretty quick and I was almost tempted to ask them for some color too but I decided to test the results first. My hair looks ok after the blow drying but we all know the true results will be seen after I wash, air-dry, and barely brush my hair tomorrow. 🙂
Lance’s cut, however, was something I really liked! The stylist even gave a lot of styling tips that would flatter him. Too bad he still didn’t have the discipline to ask the stylist what products he should use to style it the same way.
Christmas & New Year text messages are not so common nowadays but of the few I received, there’s one that I would like to live by for the whole of 2012. Special thanks to Kizzy for sending it on New Year’s Eve. 🙂
- Sunrise after the darkest of nights.
- Friends who bring out the best in you.
- A love that makes you smile.
- Belief that anything is possible.
- Courage to finally do what you’ve been putting off.
- Time for yourself.
- Promises that are kept.
- An answered prayer.
- A heart that forgives
- A happy feeling everyday.
- A soul that heals.
- A wonderful life & perfect health.
More words when I find time this week. I’m hitting the sack early tonight… part of my commitment to make a lifestyle change (which is a whole other blog post!).